Tuesday, September 2, 2008

I can play if I want to

Right before I had Rolly I became interested (nope scratch that) obsessed with Birth Order Theory. I read Dr. Leman's book, discussing it at length with others, because I did not want my baby to suffer from middle-child syndrome, well you know the negatives of it (comparison, inferiority, etc)...."What do you mean 'middle'? He's the baby!" you may be thinking-trust me he is the middle, there will be more. Anyway, regardless of my attempts Rolly has many characteristics of the classic middle child: easy-going, along-for-the-ride attitude, differs greatly from firstborn, which is great, but I still strive for him to have many opportunities alone with me. Try as I may to accomodate both of my children, some days one gets greater priority than the other. Most days, however allow for time with both my boys. Rolly is so enamored by Lucky that it's fun to see him play all by himself. It's as if he's saying, "I can play if I want to!" Check him out!


Jenny W said...

Perdita - I have never read the book; however, from what you said in your email I find all of it to be true with Maddie. She is different from Noah in every way. I wonder...is the middle-child theory further exaggerated when the 1st and 2nd children are different sexes? I suppose I'll have to read to find out...

Perdita said...

From what I've read the middle child can have firstborn characteristics if the gender is different, but they are usually accompanied by middle child characteristics. Since I'm the 2nd of 4, but the first girl I have both firstborn and middle child qualities. My younger brother, however could be the poster child for the middle child. He's outgoing, keeps in touch with friends from the past, diplomatic, excels in areas that are quite opposite of my older brother. It's pretty intersting.

Dr. Leman says that a new family dynamic forms if there is 5 years or more between any of the children, (this starts a whole new firstborn cycle or the only child tendencies). It's pretty cool stuff especially in regard to yourself as well as your children. The book also has suggestions on how to best parent according to birth order.

I like what I've read of Leman. Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours is another of his books that I really like, some of his ideas are not realistic for us yet, since the boys are so young still, but I do like his ideas on reality discipline. Check it out.